More Tales From Library Land

I have to post these right away because I forget them after a few minutes.
I was helping a customer make a 1 to 2 page reduced copy. The customer is browsing through some pretty deep scientific, astronomical stuff. However, he does not know how to use a copy machine. He reeks of smoke and some alcohol, and is just rambling on and on. The he tells me "you wouldn't believe it, but I really am a high school graduate. I tried to make the olympics but I couldnt do a 7 minute mile, but hey I'm in my forty's." Nevermind that the 4 minute mile has been around for over a generation. How can I respond to that? I told him he was looking good, and then proceeded to walk back to the reference desk.

Earlier in the day a dazed and confused customer comes to the reference day complaining that WE made her late for work the other day. She told us that she went to her car and it was 10am , but then came back and it was 10:15, and that she was 15 minutes late to work. It turns out our clocks on the public internet terminals were all messed up, but she kept shouting at us, bugging other customers, and came back to the desk to ask if any of us had watches. We turned around and pointed to the clock and told her what time it "really" was.
The irony of it all! I was helping a student later in that same hour with some plug-in issues, blackboard, and our terminals. I looked at the clock there and it said 9:50, and I told her i would be right back. I get back to the reference desk and it is actually 10:01, and I was late for my shift downstairs!